Is there a “Right”

So many viewpoints

To walk in another’s shoes

finding compassion, instead of faults

Disappointments foster hurt

unmet expectations create anger

Yet we forget pain

And then we create DRAMA

that would otherwise have gone unnoticed 

WE FEED THE FIRE when

 we truly want to smother the pain

Although our freedom seems

more painful at times

In the end, the ONLY answer

to each issue is your

inner faith, always

NM 4-23-1o

The Bounce Back

Oh, what a crazy week. I don’t know if this qualifies as a poem, or what you call it. Maybe an observation, maybe just a mindless rant. Many of the things I write come when they choose. I write the date if at all possible, so I can reflect on the specific time frame. I am not posting in a linear fashion, so take it all with a grain of salt.

I often ignore myself, change my tune, feel frazzled and wish to be more than who I am. Others see a completely different person. I am just me, take me leave me, but know I cant function if I am not me. And most of all, I have a tough enough time understanding life and myself, so if you need an explanation, you wouldn’t understand anyway …

The Bounce Back

Perspectives vs Truth, Hate vs Love, Anger vs Calm, Spite vs Kindness, Revenge or forgiveness? We ALL FAIL EVERY DAY

REJOICE and do not fret

Yet, some of us TRULY fail-  fail to learn and grow and accept life

to see rather than to blind

to empathasise and see compassion, to temper the anger frustration and hurt, to understand and uplift and to give

Rather than to take

All negativity hurts and

creates pain and

through that pain

YOU choose to make YOU strong or weak

Some say “meditate”

“just be happy and in the light”

“always have a good attitude”

Others mix in religion, and so on….

Great Asperations, Truly they are.

Yet

if EVERY DAY was the BEST DAY EVER

no one, I mean NO ONE, would have a baseline.

We, unfortunately, are not programmed

to be happy ALL THE TIME!

And I feel if I shun REAL emotion, I shun LIFE

REAL LIFE, TRUE NOURISHMENT I feel arises

through connecting with people and LIVING

BUT

I’m tired of accommodating, tired of trying to change

to please others because

I LIKE ME

and if you don’t, no problem

JUST DON”T EXPECT ME

TO BE DIFFERENT

Maybe I fail, maybe I examine my choices, my perspective

If I’ve caused TRUE HARM, I’ll try to fix it

If I experience harm, I’ll HEAL

and if someone is trying to

throw hate, pain or sorrow my way

I’ll do my best to soothe it, walk in their shoes.

As I try not to run away, because I’d rather be alone when it is

CRAZY and then i feel CRAZY and need QUIET, need to decompress

AND NO ONE GETS THIS

But, you wouldn’t tell a person having an asthma attack-to breathe

A heart attack- be positive,  calm down

A rise or fall in blood sugar- Ride it out

A stroke- ignore your symptoms

A massive cut- FOCUS ON NOT BLEEDING

So why, when it comes to OUR BRAINS, OUR CNS which controls

EVERYTHING

Should we dismiss emotional pain or flaws?

Same human, same body, a malfunction with an organ

Makes NO sense to me

I do my best to help others, show generosity, sacrifice, hope, love, faith, forgiveness, support, tears, empathy and because I do I AM NOT WEAK

Yet, so many embrace harshness, bullies and assholes

and call that (false ego)

STRENGTH

makes no sense to me

and then I notice I become like them to survive

and I unravel….

as I feel so often, I DO NOT BELONG HERE

because it all feels backwards.

I don’t know what to do so I’m dishing  a major rant,

on a day the haters are on a mission

train wrecks are everywhere, dodging boulders to no end…

NM 09-16-14

My Plight

I wake up

unsure of what the day holds

I feel so many things

Its hard to discern

whats mine

or their’s

Elation!

Energy and Ideas

Relief from my pain

inside and out

I strive to achieve them

Yet the damn curveballs

just keep coming

Makes me feel so crazy

Takes so much energy to block

I long for peace

for a time when I can

BREATHE

and simply

just feel

Myself

NM 2-11-10

Our Dreams

We  hope/pray/trust ___ to…

Doctors ~ to take care of us

Educators ~ to SAFELY teach us

Partners/Lovers ~ to be trustworthy, loyal and kind

Kids ~ to learn, love and grow

Friends ~ Well….you know

Family ~ Oh, wow…that’s a novel

Neighbors ~ helping, not hindering life

Community and World Leaders ~ to enact proper leadership and laws

Employers ~ a healthy safe place to grow and prosper

And does it ever really happen?

If, so HELP

Tell me how…

NM 09-01-14

True Nourishment

Have you ever pondered

where our TRUE nourishment lies?

Are you searching for

what feels right

deep down in your soul?

Or maybe the mind is made up!

You ignore that nagging voice

because in your world

there is no God

How?

Faith

Trust

and

Affirmations

can transform

YOU

can awaken

your mind

stir your soul

and begin, you will

along a journey to

YOUR ANSWER

The one that lies

deep within your makeup

The message from

The Heavens

your entered your earthly body with

your purpose

your gift to

the World!

And once you

reach that path

everything else

will fall into place

Like the center of a puzzle

No More Fear

or Worries

Doubt melts away

and is replaced with

Healing Stories

as we Acknowledge

and move past

the stories that

Do Not Need To Happen

Choice

Nourishment

vs

Possessions and compulsions

What choice

will you make?

NM 2-04-10

Boulders, Shoulders

Tiny specks of sand

one or two, we barely feel

Blasting us at 60mph..oh man…:(

run with zeal!!!!

Take shelter from the storm

protect your eyes, ears and nose

succumb to fear

when is my new day near?

And then the storm subsides

you feel the sun on your skin

The scream of the wind

is gone

Silence…..

the air is clear!

A new day is here!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh no, more clouds

Why? oh Lord, why now?

Your universe is chucking

Boulders

at me, thinking I’ve got

linebacker shoulders

So worn and beat down

How is it, that I’ve not drowned??????

Save me save me SAVE ME SAVE ME

CAN’T YOU HEAR ME SCREAM?

PLEASE Please

I’m down on my knees

begging for you

to rescue me

and I sink

become so still

no sounds,  none at all

just darkness

and

FAITH

Oh there it is!

Hallelujah!

a tiny string

I can barely reach

feels like 1lb test

couldn’t help even a flea!

Really?

and then i hear

I hear myself SCREAM

from deep down inside

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS

PLIGHT

I will grab that tiny string

I WILL FIGHT

Quitting is forbidden

Fear MUST GO

Pain and sorrow

friends, no longer foes

I’m smarter and stronger

than ever before

boot camp and college

wrapped up in courage

and change

taking me places…..

Oh wow, I’ll never be the same 🙂

Because the darkness

CRACKED

When I chose to Fight

and that glimpse

that glimpse of light

knew I had to

FIGHT

to cling to

UNWAVERING FAITH

To shower others with LOVE

and kindness, and forget

my worries

as I try to soothe and calm their pain

trying to hold on

living life through

LOVE

while I continue to rise above

The boulders, maybe now

I’ve got those linebacker shoulders

On the way….

NM 09-15-14

Our Beginning, twice

September 2007…

Wait, no

May 2008, whew~

Oh I thought before I met you

I was so wise, so strong

A woman of the world!

Been through so much

Been so many places

All these experiences…

Then I met

YOU

So strong and smart

with such  knowing, sparkling eyes

trusting eyes

solid thinking and

fantastically handsome

oh, and that smile…..

and *POOF*

My life is thrown in one direction

Your’s another

and by the time we meet again

I’m falling to pieces

as you’re emerging from a long battle

And you gather up all

the broken pieces

and bring them home with you

and little by little

you piece everything back together

better than it ever was

You found ME

And no matter how naive I felt

You never made me feel stupid

you gave me, still give me,

SO MANY EXPERIENCES

I’ve never had in my life

That are priceless

A safe place

so I could rest my body and soul

Cradled in LOVE

and trust and kindness

Acceptance

Permission to

BE MYSELF

All of my “selves”

The good, the bad

Room to succeed and fail

and tons of space to grow

I’ve learned more about

everyone and everything

you name it~ since I’ve been with you

than in my entire life

I’ve felt more love and devotion and kindness

More fun and happiness

My own personal Disney World 🙂

I am the wealthiest woman

IN THE UNIVERSE!

and I thank God everyday

for every minute

I have with you

NM 3-08-10

The Best Part of Each Day

Ba-bump, Ba-bump, Ba-bump

the beat of your heart

Aaahhh….

Here I am

once again

in my favorite moment of the day

As I rest my head

on your shoulder

and feel the stress melt away

These blessings

intoxicate my soul

my heart

my mind

Feelings of immense love

peace and gratitude

engulf each and every cell

encompassing my being

while I drift

deeper and deeper

towards sleep

I thank God for

this moment

and ask for

many, many more

NM 2-06-10

I smile

You smile

I melt

You hug me

I’m intoxicated by your scent

energized by your touch

You look at me

And it’s as if diamonds

sparkle in your eyes

I am a QUEEN

in the

wealthiest of lands

Invincible due to

the sheer POWER

of Love

And I smile

as you release your embrace

And I know…..

NM 2-06-10

Tribute to spring

It can’t be long!!!

I can see green

bathed in the glistening sun

I can feel the trees stretch and wake

as the warmth surrounds

their roots and branches

the grass says GROW!

The leaves say BUD!

the bugs…oh well they are here too

The breeze has pockets of warmth

through the chill

the world is about to make it’s

yearly transformation

reborn again

I am bursting with anticipation

NM 3-19-10