Dreaming with a Heavy Heart

All I’ve ever wanted
Is a Normal Life
Not burdened with strife
To be a Mother and Wife

Relishing the boring and mundane
Counting these as blessings
Where others tend to
Go insane

I longingly wish
When I see families in bliss
That would be me

Envying the couple
Who’ve lived in that house
For 40 years and
Held together a 60 year marriage
Despite the pain and tears

Oh traditions, what a joy
To have such a comfort
In a familiar ploy
To keep the family going
Spending time together
Without knowing
How lucky they are

To have a mom to call on
When things get rough
To have a dad I could lean on
When Im not so tough

To have my children know
Safety not fear
Love and trust
Rather than the
Bulls%#t veneer

Of falsehood and hurt
And selfish ways
That unfortunately seem
To dominate our days

And when I hear women
Who have this life, complain
It makes me furious
It makes me feel insane

Like Im the one who’s crazy
For feeling their life is maybe
The most cherished place
In the world

This is my wish
As I wake from dreaming
With a heavy heart

Middle of the Night

Middle of the night
Up again, can’t sleep
Thinking about you
Or are you
thinking about me

Still on the radar I see
No matter what I do
I feel you, hear you
As if you’re right here
Next to me

Will it ever get easy
To remember you
To laugh at
our good times

Can a day go by
When I don’t wish you
Were in my world
one more day
And I had a chance to
Tell you all about what
Id been meaning to say

And I’d not hesitated
Thinking it could wait
One more day
Although that day
Will never come
I cherish the moments
Of remembered love
And thank God
You woke me up
In the
Middle of the Night